Easter.
For children it is a time of pastel baskets full of gooey chocolates and little mashmallow creatures. A time for painting eggs, hunting eggs and doing your level best to ignore the Pagan fertility symbolism of the eggs, the bunny, the trappings of the holiday that are far older than Jesus Christ and the story of his return from the grave and ascent into Heaven.
For at least some adults it is a time to – after laughing at Hindus, Buddhists and Muslims for their strange ceremonies and uncanny mysticism — recognize how out-of-its effing mind Christianity really is.
My friends, I give you The Holy Fire.
From the AP story:
Worshippers filled Christianity’s most revered church on Saturday, lighting rows of candles, dripping hot wax on their faces and dancing in celebration of the Orthodox Easter ‘holy fire’ ritual.
Orthodox Christians believe Jesus Christ was crucified and buried where the Church of the Holy Sepulcher now stands, and the fire appears spontaneously from his tomb on the eve of Easter as a message that he has not forgotten his followers.
The fire ceremony started with the entrance of Jerusalem’s Greek Orthodox Patriarch Theofilos III, dressed in his robes and a large yellow-and-white cowl, and carrying a large staff.
He descended into the church’s underground tomb to bring out the flame. When he emerged, church bells pealed and flames were passed around to the thousands of faithful, filling the church with light and smoke.
Worshippers quickly lit their candles — many of them carrying bunches of long tapers tied up with string and decorated with pictures of Jerusalem. Arab Christian women ululated and others beat out drum rhythms. One youth bounced up and down on another’s shoulders, waving a candle.
Other celebrants dripped candle wax onto their faces.
The ”holy fire” is taken aboard special flights to Athens and other cities — connecting many of the 200 million Orthodox worldwide to their spiritual roots.
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That’s right, folks — it’s a Christian magic trick. The Patriarch is stripped of his vestments (“Nothing up my sleeve, as you can see”) descends into the tomb of Jesus Christ and produces…WHITE DOVES!
No, I’m sorry…FIRE!
Then come the white doves.
I knew a kid in high school who could have done this on stage in front of you, without disappearing into a tiny room. But it happens every year in Jerusalem and thousands gather to celebrate it as a miracle.
Which, lame magic trick or no, is in some sense more admirable than the bland brand of American Christians who insist you believe in God and live by their version of his rules without so much as ginning up some annual miracles to dazzle the eye and prove that:
A) He’s still keeping an eye on us.
B) He’s capable of…you know, setting things on fire spontaneously.
As a kid I always appreciated the showmanship of the Catholic church. Catholic school may not have made a good Catholic of me…but it did make me mildly contemptuous of protestant churches that seemed not even to be trying.
As an adult there are many, many things about Christianity with which I’m not on board — but I do still have a gleam of admiration for those people who really put their backs into it.
9 Comments
April 8, 2007 at 11:48 pm
You have used the word “effing” in four posts since this past Monday. I’m just saying.
April 9, 2007 at 2:00 am
My employer doesn’t like it when I curse on the blog.
So I use the euphemism.
It’s gotta be the best (or at least most amusing) euphemism.
April 9, 2007 at 2:47 am
Maybe I should be bummed. The elders passed out communion at church this morning — but no fire!! ;)
Seriously though, the praise and worship was awesome, and I could feel God’s presence with us so strongly. It was beautiful and humbling and real. And I’m really thankful for Easter and for what it means for believers everywhere. (Even though we did hide pagan eggs later for the babies and I ate chocolate that a bunny allegedly left for me.)
Your story made me think of this passage:
“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ‘God is a consuming fire.’” Hebrews 12:28-29
So really, we did have the fire with us. We have it always. Not burning on candles. But burning in us.
I hope you had a good Easter, Joe. Peace, CM :)
April 11, 2007 at 4:59 pm
I have always viewed Protestantism to Punk rock, wherein they strip away all the needless hooks and grooming (i.e. excessive rituals and uncontested Papal authority), and simply shred in intimate community settings with the God they believe in. Rather than engage in frequent rituals and holy rites, protestants focus on trying to obtain a personal interpretation of the Bible – how many Catholics can say that?
I will admit, however, that many protestants’ interpretation of the Bible is flawed, but I guess every belief system has its flaws. That said, I seldom meet someone from a Catholic church with a halfway decent knowledge of the characters and events in The Bible, especially the Old Testament.
April 11, 2007 at 8:57 pm
I rarely meet any Christian from any denomination that has a halfway decent knowledge of the characters and events in the Bible, to say nothing of their interpretations of what they do know.
April 11, 2007 at 11:27 pm
I’ve had the exact opposite experience, Joes. The Catholics I’ve met are far more informed on the history, doctrines and competing interpretations of Christianity than Protestants, although to be honest my experience with Protestants in a religious context is largely limited to the kind of bullshit independent Baptist churches that grow like clover around here.
April 12, 2007 at 12:56 am
While I am not generally in the habit of saying nice things about the Catholic church I will say this — as a young boy, in Catholic school and thereafter, I was asked by the Church to think critically about religion and have some respect for actual history and the way that it relates to Christianity in a way that I don’t think protestant children (maybe particularly protestant children in Christian schools) often are.
This observation is a broad stroke, of course, and comes almost entirely from my interactions with people who grew up in Baptist, Methodist and Pentecostal churches explaining to me what they were taught.
April 13, 2007 at 10:47 am
I never said that protestants knew more than Catholics about church history. They don’t. They really, really, don’t. Church history seems to do nothing for protestants. I guess that’s kinda what the whole Martin Luther thing was about. Once he came to his realization that the grace of God saves mankind instead of good works, he kinda tossed all non-Biblical church doctrines and history out the window for the generations that followed.
In a way, it’s sort of the inverse of the modern Catholic experience. One group stresses Biblical knowledge over church history, and the other does the exact opposite.
As far as being equipped to think critically, I will admit it’s difficult to do when you have been taught nothing but the Bible. However, I would have to say that my own falling out with Christianity has to do entirely with my own Biblical reading – the two completely different deaths of Judas (did he hang himself or jump off a cliff? Christian theologians say he did both, and I say bullshit), the insane laws found in Leviticus, the insanity of the belief in Noah as a historical character, etc. All the church history business, which helped bolster my stance afterwards, came later on.
As far as comparing Christian (protestant) schools with Catholic schools, there really is no comparison. The only thing that I would say is ‘Christian’ about most Christian (protestant) schools in our country is the occasional public prayer every now and then and a slightly strict dress code. Most Christian (protestant) schools, in the south, anyway, were created for white, protestant families to keep their kids away from evolutionist theories, democrats, and minorities they would encounter at a public school. Sad fact, but a very true one.
April 14, 2007 at 7:35 am
Joe — this entry makes me chuckle every single time I read it. Thanks much for being an excellent role model for amateur bloggers and journalists.